tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66366804719241023.post7351997898656706247..comments2023-10-29T15:30:13.049+08:00Comments on Biges.3™: 男女搭讪的心理学Bige Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01338500745213028387noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66366804719241023.post-22437797367561146982007-08-29T16:23:00.000+08:002007-08-29T16:23:00.000+08:00 在你的女友之前,这个世界上有很多的女青年表达过不要孩子的理想,最后她们都幸福地生了。就像这个世界... 在你的女友之前,这个世界上有很多的女青年表达过不要孩子的理想,最后她们都幸福地生了。就像这个世界上有很多的青年表达过长大要当老板的理想,最后他们都成功地当上了老板的秘书。<BR/> <BR/> SO,现实和理想的差距就是你脆弱的理想在坚硬的现实面前它能挺多久。有一首著名的歌曲“Get rich or die trying”,翻译成中文“不富贵,毋宁死”,也就是如果你不能实现你的理想,你就死在实现它的路上,绝不当秘书的意思。所以在你为女友的理想抓狂之前,我希望你首先搞清楚你的女友她的理想有多硬,她是真的做好了“生BB,毋宁死”的准备,并且打算从此和你的爹地她的妈米你善良的七大姑八大姨她好心的幼儿园同学等等都有一个叽叽喳喳的孩子从而绝不允许这世界上任何一个育龄女青年不生一个叽叽喳喳的孩子的人作不屈不挠的斗争吗?<BR/> <BR/> 能够反抗全世界对她的期望的女青年是很少很少的。我估计你的女友并不是其中的一个。她不想生BB并非因为她有着为可怜的地球妈妈减轻负担以及誓死捍卫京都条约的伟大理想,她只是患上了暂时性可治愈性的产前恐惧症。<BR/> <BR/> 一切的恐惧其实源于未知,恐惧是因为我们不知道自己将要面对的是什么。所以如果你想消除女友的恐惧,最好的方法是变未知为已知,让她认识到并不是每一个BB都像你们家亲戚那么可怕,这个世界上还是有很多BB会像张柏芝生的那么美,并且长大后还会像徐子淇生的那么有钱。<BR/> <BR/> 让一个不那么想生孩子但并没打算为此去死的女人生孩子的方法有很多,你可以无意中令她收看到关于长期吃避孕药可能导致乳腺癌的医学文章,你可以天天拍她马屁,令她分泌强烈的基因自豪感,觉得以你俩的素质不生一个孩子太对不起社会以及达尔文老师,最后在确定你的女友她其实想要孩子但又脆弱得无法亲自克服自己的恐惧的时候,你还可以采取其它手段,按照概率学,100个安全套中总有1个是会破的。Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66366804719241023.post-35275510191067313852007-08-29T16:19:00.000+08:002007-08-29T16:19:00.000+08:00 我们家一位老师曾经说,在每个人的心里,对于和谁一起吃饭、一起睡觉、一起洗脚等问题都有一个排行榜,... 我们家一位老师曾经说,在每个人的心里,对于和谁一起吃饭、一起睡觉、一起洗脚等问题都有一个排行榜,有的人把老板排在最前面,有的人把老婆排在最前面。<BR/> <BR/> 每个人对爱情都有自己的想象,每个人都认为在爱情的世界中,自己是最重要、唯一重要、排行榜永居第一的人物。然而事实并不是这样的,事实的真相是在不同的人生阶段,一个人他或她的心目中一定有过不同的、比爱人更加重要的人或者事情。有时候是前途,有时候是友谊,有时候是银行存款什么的。<BR/> <BR/> 很不幸,在你女朋友最近的吃饭逛街排行榜上,你显然已经远远地落了后,现在友谊是雄居第一的,这和你对爱情重要性的想象显然对不上号,但是---我个人认为这没什么可担心的,因为我向你保证,这个世界上没有比女人的友谊更不堪一击的东西啦。<BR/> <BR/> 一个女人,在她赤手空拳面对陌生世界的时候,她会紧紧抓住 “友谊地久天长”等每一根救命稻草。而一旦她暂时把世界解决了,这时新的威胁出现,那就是其他的女人。这个世界上大多数女人是没有安全感的,她们一生都在担心其他的女人比她美、比她年青、比她身材劲爆。<BR/> <BR/> 所以,万一你没有耐心等待你家女友和她的女友那天长地久的友谊自行崩溃,你可以采取:1。挑拨离间法,每天在女友面前发表“那位茶楼姑娘的身材太劲爆了”“她有男朋友了吗”之类的社论;2。装可怜法,每个女人内心深处都有伟大的母性,你可以假装生病、假装摔跤、假装被狗咬等等,总之要令你的女友意识到其实你比全世界所有独在异乡的茶楼姑娘都更可怜、更凄惨、更需要母爱,从而重登她的“需要照顾的宠物”排行榜第一名。Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66366804719241023.post-26379342986590794352007-08-23T12:22:00.000+08:002007-08-23T12:22:00.000+08:00New research suggests men's choice of chat-up line...<B>New research suggests men's choice of chat-up line may help quickly select for women with particular personalities.</B><BR/><BR/>When it comes to the human mating game, men are often portrayed as having little power or guile. Research finds it is women that control early interactions, from first signalling the man to approach to deciding whether to engage in sex. One area in which men are popularly seen as especially inept is in their choice of chat-up lines. Leading the field in crass openings are sexually-loaded remarks.<BR/><BR/>Indeed, a study by Chris Bale from the University of Central Lancashire found that sexually-loaded remarks were the type of openers least likely to lead to further interaction (Bale, 2006). Which begs the question: why do men still use them? <BR/><BR/><BR/><B>Chat-up lines as selection tool</B><BR/><BR/>An ingeniously simple answer is suggested by both Bale (2006) and Cooper et al. (2007), with some evidence to back it up. Chat-up lines may be a way for men to select for a particular type of woman. In other words, men using sexually-loaded remarks are looking for a certain type of woman (an easy one). Similarly, at the other end of the scale, men who use character-revealing or culture-based openers are probably trying to show they are a good mate looking for a long-term partner.<BR/><BR/>That's the theory and here's how Cooper and colleagues searched for evidence. <BR/><BR/>The study first asked participants to consider a series of scenarios in which men tried to strike up a conversation with a woman. In each the man used a different type of approach. Participants were then asked to rate how likely it was the conversation would continue on the basis of that opener.<BR/><BR/>These 'lines' were collated from a variety of sources and clustered into the following categories:<BR/>1.<B>Good mate</B> - these included comments that made reference to culture, character or wealth. E.g. "You know I saw this fantastic piece in the Tate Modern".<BR/>2.<B>Compliments.</B> E.g. "You remind me of a parking ticket because you've got fine written all over you." (Please. No!)<BR/>3.<B>Sex.</B> E.g. "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bedrock." (Club to the head.)<BR/>4.<B>Humour.</B> "Can I buy you an island?" (Nice.)<BR/><BR/>So, now we know, generally speaking, how our female participants react to these four broad types of male approaches. Next we need to find out what types of men the female participants prefer. <BR/><BR/><BR/><B>Four types of men</B><BR/><BR/>For this they complete the Dating Partner Preference Test. An analysis of these results suggests women see men as generally falling into one of four types:<BR/>1.<B>Nice guy.</B> Yes, he's helpful, he's considerate, he's appreciative. He's a puppy.<BR/>2.<B>Provider.</B> Man go into woods, kill pig. Bring fire. Build log cabin. All warm and fed.<BR/>3.<B>Leader.</B> He's chatty, confident and strong-willed - a captain of your heart?<BR/>4.<B>Bad mate.</B> Fickle, conceited, dependent. All wrong for you. But there's something about him...<BR/><BR/>Along with these vignettes and the Dating Partner Preference Test, participants were asked to fill in personality measures of their psychoticism (tendency for inappropriate emotional responses and recklessness), extraversion (being outgoing, gregarious, externally oriented) and neuroticism (the tendency to experience negative emotional states). Now we've got all the information we need to see if there's any connection. <BR/><BR/><BR/><B>Results</B><BR/><BR/>Looking at the correlations shows there is support for the idea that chat-up lines select for women with particular personalities.<BR/> Women high in extraversion preferred the male 'leaders'.<BR/> Women high in neuroticism preferred the 'nice guys'.<BR/> Women high in psychoticism rejected 'nice guys', preferring the 'bad mate'. <BR/><BR/>It does seem, then, that the type of chat-up lines men choose does have a measurable effect on the types of women who respond to them. This can effectively allow men to make a quick assessment of a woman's personality by their response to a particular type of approach. Those looking for a 'bad mate' might use a sexually-loaded remark or a compliment, while those wanting an extrovert should use a joke. <BR/><BR/><BR/><B>Men's perceptions of women's lines</B><BR/><BR/>I have focussed on women's perceptions of male chat-up lines as in most cultures it's mostly the men using the lines, although this is changing. Perhaps to reflect this men's perceptions of women's chat-up lines were also included in this study. <BR/><BR/>The results for men's perceptions showed that in comparison to women, men were more likely to prefer chat-up lines involving sex (surprise surprise!) as opposed to women who preferred humour. Men also tended to be worse than women at judging what types of chat-up lines women prefer. The types of chat-up lines whose effectiveness was under-estimated by men were those involving offers of help to women, handing control of the interaction to women and (subtly) displaying wealth (surprise surprise!). <BR/><BR/><BR/><B>Caution</B><BR/><BR/>The correlations seen between personality measures and ratings of chat-up lines were not particularly high (between 0.2 to 0.4). This means that only a small proportion of the change in personality measures is associated with the chat-up lines (between 4% and 16%). So, it's far from the only thing affecting chat-up line responses, but there is still some effect. <BR/><BR/>» Read more on the psychology of relationships.<BR/><BR/>» If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to PsyBlog (RSS)<BR/><BR/><B>References</B><BR/><BR/>Cooper, M., O'Donnell, D., Caryl, P. G., Morrison, M., & Bale, C. (2007) Chat-up lines as male displays: Effects of content, sex, and personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 43, 1075-1085<BR/><BR/>Bale, C., Morrison, R., & Caryl, P. G. (2006). Chat-up lines as male sexual displays. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 655-664.<BR/>Labels: RelationshipsBige Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01338500745213028387noreply@blogger.com